WHY people fail

What separates the people who are winning from those who fail to achieve their goals? It has nothing to do with luck or fate. It is the resistance one holds to one's goal. People are not aware of the resistance because it is hidden in the emotional mind.

You can want something but also want the complete opposite. For instance, you may want to lose weight but you also want what food does in meeting more pressing emotional needs, you may see food as your ONLY or BEST means of escaping from negative feelings or find you don't have any other immediate way of rewarding yourself. Resistance is what is pulling you in the opposite direction from where you want to go.

People believe that by putting more energy and motivation into the goal of winning they will overpower the part that is in resistance. The problem is that by pulling against what you resist you are adding energy to it, what you resist persists. This explains why after being successful in losing weight on a weight loss programme you finally cave in and you are back to your old relationship with food.

Emotional balance is the same as the law of gravity, it always works the same. For instance, you use force to kick a football up the side of a hill but it finally loses momentum and rolls back down again.  You use the force of willpower when you "go on a diet" but you find that you lose momentum and get back to square one again. People start "new diet" programmes believing that this time they will succeed but find that they fail one more time - they simply cannot work if your subconscious paradigm stays the same.

There is a reason that an aspect of you is pulling against what you want, it actually believes that is in your BEST interests. You must remember that your subconscious in NEVER doing anything against you, it is doing things for you.

The BELIEFS that create your emotions are largely SUBCONSCIOUS, this is why transformation in the emotional mind is ESSENTIAL in creating change. You can now understand why hypnotherapy is such an effective strategy for creating lasting change.

One of the goals of the subconscious mind is to protect us emotionally, it wants us moving towards feeling better. The problem is that in the process of striving for a goal we are causing more powerful negative feelings. It is only when you address the positive intentions behind the resistance to your goal that you have a chance of success.

You NOW know why you fail.

If you want to break any habit: stop smoking, stop eating junk food and emotional eating, etc. or change emotional problems, the REASON you can't switch to and then maintain the new habit or emotional state is that you are trying to do the opposite to what you want to deep down. This is what WILLPOWER is trying to do, it is like swimming against the tide, it is only a matter of time before you run out of the energy and drive to continue.

Understanding HOW the mind works.

You don't have one mind (maybe, NOT as you may have believed), you have two minds, the emotional mind and the logical mind. In the diagram below this is represented as the prefrontal cortex (logical mind) and the emotional mind (the orange circle) which goes back as far as we go back. They are two distinct parts of the brain. The emotional mind has the mental reasoning of a six-year-old child and one of its major goals is to protect you physically and emotionally. It wants to get you away from discomfort to a better feeling.

The emotional mind is very concerned about the now: how to make you feel better NOW. It is not very concerned about the IMPLICATION of the action (try telling a six-year-old child that what it is doing is going to have long-term implications). There can be a conflict between the needs of the emotional mind and you rational goals. This is WHY you can carry out rewarding habits that are in conflict with your rational goals. Influencing the emotional mind is crucial to long-term success.

Mayo Hypnosis Clinic. Tel 094 9060226 or 086 161 2301. info@mayohypnosis.ie.

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