There is an old saying that goes like this “if it won't happen there is no need to worry and if it happens there is is no point in worrying", you just have to live with it if it happens – worry will not change what happens”.
Worry is the running of horror movies about the future in your mind. If you keep running those movies you get a false picture of life. Your picture of life is distorted.
You tend to focus on the negative facts, you don't see the full picture. You don't focus on your coping skills, knowledge, etc you can use to deal with any eventuality if it happens and can even prevent those things from happening. Worry is really the preparation for the awful things that can happen so that you are prepared for them. We have a tendency to be on the lookout for problems.
We tend to look at the worse case scenarios. Worry is not really helping, it is useless. It is an UNDUE concern. The things that eventually may go are usually NOT what we expected, something completely unexpected, but we find we can adapt and deal with them when they happen.
The big problem with worrying is that you can attract the outcomes on which you are focussed – the law of attraction. It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, it is like inviting it. When you focus on something it becomes part of your reality, whether you want it or not.
You are depriving yourself of the enjoyment of the present moment when you focus on possible negative outcomes in the future and you are also damaging your health by stressing yourself out. We use the term “worry yourself to death” and if it doesn't just cause physical death it causes the death of dreams.
An important question to ask yourself “what is the worst possible thing that can happen?” In reality, the worst thing isn't really that bad. We tend to over-estimate how bad something could be and when things go wrong we simply get to grips and adjust to the new situation. The mind tends to hate uncertainty, we simply have to learn to live with uncertainty.
Resistance to facing the worst possible outcomes that cause the stress and anxiety associated with worry. If you resolve to accept the worst if it happens, you no longer have anything to worry about.
Who are the people who don't worry?
They are people who are in control as opposed to people who feel that they are out of control. They use the first signs of worry to look at the situation in perspective and take constructive action. They use fear to get them to look at ALL the facts.
They choose faith and positive expectation over worry. They know the importance of being solution-focused. They know that worry will not lead them to what they want. They know that worry is the resistance to the solution. They also believe that if the worst possible thing happens that they will adjust to the new reality and that this eventuality was what was meant to happen to their growth as a person.
I have over the years seen people going through experiences, that at the time seemed so devastating when they happened, becoming the events that transformed their lives into meaningful growth. What is desirable according to the ego may not be what the universe has planned for our growth and true fulfillment in life.
Worriers are taking an unhelpful perspective.
Emotions are created by the way we look at something, The situation isn't the problem, the perception is the problem. As Einstein said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
The problem is that you are emotionally caught up in your perspectives. There is what I call green thinking and red thinking, green thinking is optimistic and creating HOPE and is all about taking the actions you have control over to create the outcomes you want.
Sometimes, things will fall into place when we take the right actions and luck in our our side. Sometimes, things can go horribly wrong but we can cross that bridge when we reach it.
Red thinking just makes you feel bad, it will not change what happens. Example, your teenage son goes out socialising and you see all kinds of things that can happen to him but this will not change what is going to happen. It is much better to see him coming home safely. You are giving out positive vibes, remember the law of attraction, DON'T visualise something that you don't want to happen.
Stop worrying tips
Put it on paper. 50% of what we worry about disappears when you put it on paper.
Just for today. Adopt the AA motto "just for today I will not worry."
Accept the worst. Accept that you will accept the worst if it happens. Resistance to a situation is the biggest cause of stress.
The worry hour. Choose a day and time of the week to have an hour to worry. If something comes up in the mind, make a note of it on mobile or notebook and do it during worry time. Whether you worry for an hour or 60 hours it makes no difference as it is wasteful thinking time that resolves NOTHING. You have better things to do with your precious time.