It is essential that we learn how to overcome serious setbacks. There is very little chance that anybody can get through life without encountering events that will force them to dig deep to cope with what life throws at them. There is a well know determination quote, "the boulder that is an obstacle in the path of the weak becomes the stepping stone in the path of the strong", how true that is.

We must see that success and failure are on the same road of life. They are parts of the road that are successful, where we are happy and parts where we are really challenged. Whenever some setback happens, it is important to realise that further down the road lies success again, when we have dealt with the setback part of the road.

When something serious happens, there is a period of time that you cannot deal with it before the time comes when you can. It is so tragic that many people take their own lives in that initial period where they believe they can't cope. If they allowed the initial emotional storm pass, they could adjust their lives to the traumatic event(s) and go on to live a meaningful life.

The most extraordinary thing about a serious setback is that while it seems to be an awful thing when it happens and has destroyed your life (as you now see it), it can often a gift and a blessing in disguise when it is viewed in hindsight - something that started a new and a better chapter in your life.

When things go wrong we feel bad when it HAPPENS but it is the universe pointing us in a new direction to reach our highest potential and true happiness in life.

Difficulties don't come to obstruct but to instruct.

What the universe has mapped out for us to reach our highest potential, may not be the same as what we believe may be the best path for us. We should TRUST that our darkest hour is the hour before a beautiful new dawn in our lives. To open our grasp to hold something new, we must let go what we are now holding onto, even though we may believe that we need it and can't live without it.

Struggle makes us stronger NOT weaker but this depends on our perception of the struggle. The question to ask yourself when sebtacks happen "what does this teach or show me?"

There is a story about a man who tried to help a butterfly out of its cocoon by slitting the cocoon open. The butterfly that emerged had small, unformed wings, and died soon after. It needed the struggle out of the cocoon to force the fluid into its wings to stretch and open them so that the butterfly could fly. By trying to shortcut the process, the man had instead doomed the creature.

When something goes wrong it is your chance to show to yourself and the world what you are made of. It is easy to win when it is easy but that is not when you grow. You grow through the difficulties, the hard times, the challenges.

Very successful people have as many setbacks as anybody else. They don't take failure as the last word, they apply creativity and determination because see they see success further down the road. Your attitude to failure is crucial. When faced with a serious setback, you have two choices: to try or not to try.

When you try, applaud yourself for getting stuck in and making the effort. When you try, you must focus on what you can control. It is all too easy to focus on the “should be” and the “might have been”, you are where you are and you must take it from there.

Don't allow a particular setback to become global and spill into all aspects of your life. This is what happens to people who are prone to depression, a failure is interpreted as "I am a failure, my life isn't worth living", the failure becomes the lens though which they see their lives.

Everything else is still working the same in your life, you are the same person, keep your focus on the specific event. if you generalise, you won't be creative in adapting to the setback and developing the motivation to put in the effort to achieve the successful stretch of the road further on.

Coping with serious setbacks

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